May 23, 2011
A missed call and voicemail from my doctor. He wanted me to call him back right away. I wasn’t expecting a call from him until tomorrow. I just had x-rays done about two hours ago. This can’t be good.
How bad can it be? About a month ago, I went to see him because I was having chest pains. He ran the basic tests: blood, urine, and EKG. Everything came back fine. My friends and family also gave me a clean bill of health. They diagnosed me with, “it’s probably gas or indigestion.” They prescribed a daily dose of, “quit being a little bitch.” I should be good…right? After that visit, the doc told me to lay low on the caffeine, alcohol or anything else I cherish in life. So I did my best to follow the doctor’s orders, but my chest pains got worse. I was now having trouble breathing, so Erica told me to go back to the doctor. She was tired of my bitching deeply concerned with my worsening condition. So I went back. He still didn’t know what to make of it, so he ordered some chest x-rays.
I called the doc back right away. He sounded serious. He told me he saw my x-rays. He said, “You have a mass in your chest.” Ok, not what I was expecting.
The news virtually knocked me on my ass. Everything went in slow motion. The camera circled around me and Will Smith. I hung up the phone and proclaimed, “shit just got real.”
WTF?! My mind immediately started racing through all the grim possibilities. What exactly does a mass in the chest mean? Cancer? Lung cancer? I don’t smoke! Is this a death sentence? Is it my twin? Why me? Oh yeah, the doctor’s still on the line. I took a Scooby Doo sized swallow of the saliva in my mouth to regain my composure…gulp. I asked him how serious this was. He told me it was very serious. He explained, in addition to the mass, there was fluid in my lung and my heart looked enlarged. Oh, it keeps getting better! I did my best to keep cool and get the info that I needed so I could get off the phone and try to wrap my mind around this.
After kicking my soul in the nuts, he scheduled a CT scan and an appointment with a pulmonologist (lung specialist).
So my journey begins.